


Promises You Made to Me

by gaslightgallows (hearts_blood)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Brothers, Fix-It, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Late Night Conversations, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 20:42:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15032867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearts_blood/pseuds/gaslightgallows
Summary: After the battle, Thor mourns in private, but Loki made him a promise.





	Promises You Made to Me

**Author's Note:**

> For Loxxxlay, who prompted for “The less we have, the more we long for things we’ve thrown away.” I had a choice of either 'Thor and Loki' or Thorki, and I couldn't really decide which way to go, so I wrote it somewhat ambiguously. 
> 
> If you're on Tumblr, please follow me at [gaslightgallows.tumblr.com](http://gaslightgallows.tumblr.com/) for more fanfic stuff, and at [aflinley.tumblr.com](https://aflinley.tumblr.com/) for original writing and stuff I'm legally not allowed to talk about on AO3. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and especially for commenting. Comments are love. ❤

"The queen's allowing us to stay in the palace," Captain Rogers informed the survivors tiredly. 

For a moment, Thor thought he meant the older woman, with her white hair like a crown, who reminded him so desperately of his own mother. But then he corrected himself. Not the older, the younger. Shuri. The younger sister of the newly slain king. 

And he had to bite the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood, to keep from breaking down in tears. 

"We've all been assigned rooms, so let's get some rest. It's been a long day, for all..." Rogers's voice failed him briefly. "For all of us. And we've got a lot of work ahead. Get some sleep."

Thor turned and followed a guard to the chamber assigned to him. He would have preferred to stay with Rocket, for company, and because he was concerned by the small creature's mood after losing his tree, but the rabbit had vanished into the Wakandan jungles, leaving Thor alone. 

He glanced around the suite of rooms, finding the amenities of a familiar design even if the decor was not, and feeling more at home than he had expected. Wakanda's technology was almost on a level with Asgard's – with what Asgard's technology had been. "I thank you for your hospitality," he told the guard, knowing that she would bring his words back to Shuri. "Especially in such trying times."

She nodded brusquely; it was impossible not to notice that she had been crying. "If there is anything you require—" She indicated a small round device on the bedside table. 

"I'll be fine. Thank you." 

He watches the door close behind her. And then he was alone.

Again. 

Unbidden, his brother's voice came into his head.

_"I guess I'll just have to go it alone. Like I've always done."_

Thor gritted his teeth against a wave of pain. He was so very weary of being alone.

"Earth's mightiest heroes… But if I was not mighty enough to vanquish the murderer of my brother and my people, what good will many small humans be? No," he muttered to himself as he bathed, "I must do this alone. This last thing. And either I'll be successful, or I'll be dead. Either way... it will be over." 

He placed his artificial eye carefully on the night table, hoping that Rocket was all right, and then fell into bed, wrapped his arms around a pillow and buried his face in it _(hunting for Loki's scent)_ and tried to sleep. 

And he must have dropped off at some point, because suddenly he was awake and sitting straight up, his one good eye peering into the dimness of his lonely quarters.

There was a figure sitting at the foot of his bed. 

Thor hardly dared to breathe. "Loki?" he whispered fearfully. "Is this a dream?"

Loki smiled, the barest twitch of his lips, but it went straight through Thor's heart like one of Loki's own daggers. "Not exactly, though you're most certainly not quite awake."

Yes, Thor realized. He would have to be half-awake and half-asleep, to be able to speak with the dead. He drank in the sight of his little brother. Loki looked… rested, if not precisely whole, and there was a quiet humor in his eyes that Thor had not seen in centuries. "Thank you,” he murmured, blinking back tears. “I know this visit must have been difficult for you."

"A bit, yes."

"It is not often that the dead are permitted to leave Valhalla…" Loki's grin faded. Thor began to feel vaguely uneasy. "Why are you here?"

"To find you, of course. To see that you're well. And possibly to make sure you're not planning to do something incredibly stupid tomorrow. Like leaving the rest of your team of heroes behind, tracking Thanos back to his lair and attempting to bury your shiny new ax in his head."

"How did you—?"

"I _know_ you, brother." A beat. "Besides, it's what I would do, in your place."

"Why shouldn't I?" Thor demanded. "After everything he's done—"

"Oh, I'm not denying he deserves it. But it's too little, too late, don't you think? And the cost, for what you'd accomplish... Brother, it's too high."

"That's what you came back to tell me? That the cost is too high?" Thor laughed, because if he didn't he would burst into tears. "To who? "There's nothing left. No one left who needs to rely on me. There's no point—"

"There's always a point. And there's always spite," Loki grinned. "It's one of the most powerful forces in the universe. Kept me going for a long time. You should try it. Really gets the blood pumping."

As Thor looked at the ghost of his brother, he felt as though a vast chasm had suddenly opened in his chest. He thought he understood loss before. This was more than mere loss. This was emptiness. His tired, scarred face creased into a smile. "I miss you, brother."

Loki closed his eyes, as though in pain.

Could a ghost cry? Thor wondered. "So, what is Valhalla like?"

"Oh, more or less what the stories always said, I suspect. Drinking, feasting, fighting until dark. Then everyone gets up and puts their bits and pieces back together and does it all again in the morning. At least that's what I've always thought happens there. I've yet to go there, myself." 

"Loki, no... Surely after everything you've done for our people, you would be worthy of Valhalla." 

His brother shrugged. "Possibly so. It must get boring, though, after about the third day, so if I had been there, I'd still probably have come here to make a nuisance of myself instead of staying there and—"

"Making a nuisance of yourself. Do you know... Are our friends there? Are Mother and Father?"

"I would assume so," said Loki gently. "I have no way of knowing for sure, but have no doubt that they have all taken their place."

"Is there a place for me?"

"One day, there will be. I have no doubt of that, either. But it's not today."

"Tomorrow, then. When I find Thanos—"

"Killing Thanos now will not bring anyone back. And you, who are somehow still alive, are also still a king of what remains of Asgard," Loki reminded him, "and you made our people a promise. So listen to someone who actually got to be king for longer than five minutes. You have no right to throw that away. Giving in to despair now would be…" He broke off with a growl.

"I missed you too," he said, after a moment. "I told myself I wouldn't give in to sentiment again, but... I made you a promise, too."

Thor knew exactly what he was referring to. "'The sun will shine on us again." His smile was twisted and sour. "Liar."

"Often, but not this time." Loki leaned forward and, to Thor's surprise, grasped both of his shoulders. His hands were warm and firm on Thor's bare skin. "You should know better by now, brother. Haven't you learned?"

"...Learned what?"

"To never underestimate my gift for survival." A chuckle bloomed, deep in Loki's chest. "You oaf. You haven’t been listening to me at all. Must I really spell it out for you?" 

"You're alive—you're alive?!" A bright ball of emotion burst inside Thor's chest, and he laughed and sobbed at the same time and yanked his brother into a tight hug. 

Loki yelped but didn't push him away. If anything, he clung harder. "Vastly annoyed at the entire universe, but alive. Ask me how. I dare you."

"I don't care," said Thor, pressing kisses to the side of his head. "It doesn't matter. None of it matters." He pulled back, but only enough to let him frame Loki's face in his hands and peer into his eyes. "I got you back."


End file.
